The job application letter you should never write

This week I wrote the job application letter nobody should ever write. I’m sharing it because if I don’t, and if I get an interview from this, nobody will understand my hysterical laughter. We all need to do this at least once in our lives, right? hahaha



Dear [recruiter]

I am a fantastic online communicator. Proof of this is in the testimonials I’ve received from my staff, and others, for my work at Australia’s best online metal music magazine. Which you won’t want to see because no doubt this job is advertised with somebody already in mind for the position.

But I’ve been a copywriter for a long time.

I won’t beat around the bush, though. My skills are very high, I’m outstanding at what I do. Nobody in this town, however, sees fit to interview me.

So I don’t know if you’ll bother even reading my resume – I guess that’s up to you. The difference is I really want work I’m good at, and I can no longer be bothered even selling myself in letters to recruiters like yourselves, because, honestly, what’s the point?

I’m sure you won’t read my resume. It’s attached in case you can be bothered.



5 thoughts on “The job application letter you should never write

    1. Heh, interestingly, the reply I got was, “unfortunately applications closed before we received your letter”. It’s not true – I applied the day it went up. LOL

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